Keith was very silent all the way home and looking more and more miserable as we arrived at our house. I got out of the car and waited for him to come around to my side, before pulling him into a tight hug. I pressed my lips to his head and said, ‘It’ll be ok, sweetheart. Trust me.’
His eyes darted up to mine and he said with a choke and a twisted smile. ‘I didn’t mean to lie to you. You’re not really mad at me, are you Dusty?’ he asked hopefully.
I swatted him lightly. ‘We’ll discuss this, AFTER we get your things inside. Now come on, help me get these bags out of the car.’
Silently he followed me into the house, dumped the bags at the foot of the stairs and immediately headed straight into the kitchen. I called him back.
‘Get these bags upstairs please.’
‘Aww … but I need to get a drink ..’
I pointed at the bags. ‘Upstairs. Now.’
Dragging his feet, he turned to pick up the bags and headed up the stairs. I called after him. ‘Get into your night things, Keith, then pick a corner please’
He groaned loudly, but continued his way up, just short of stomping on the stairs. I watched him till he disappeared into our bedroom, then went round the house to lock up, shaking my head. On my way up, I brought a bottle of cold water from the fridge.
Entering the bedroom, I saw Keith fidgeting in a corner, already changed into his t-shirt and boxers. His head was bent and he was mumbling under his breath. He stiffened slightly as he heard me enter the room, and stole a glance at me sideways.
‘Face the corner.’
He snapped his head back and let out an exasperated sigh. I took my time getting ready for bed, reminding Keith several times of appropriate behavior while in the corner.
‘Stand up straight.’, ‘Stop fidgeting.’, ‘No grumbling please.’
‘Dusty!’ he pleaded, ‘how long are you going to make me stand here?’
I ignored that whine. I switched off the main lights and snapped the night light on, throwing the room into softer hues. Which was exactly what I wanted. I could tell Keith was working himself up, and the softer lights were so much more soothing. I pulled the covers back from the bed, straightened up the pillows, and sat myself down at the end of the bed. I watched the wriggling back for a moment, smiling slightly in spite of myself, and finally called to him.
‘All right, Keith. Come over here now.’
Suddenly, he did not seem so eager to leave his corner. He turned around and looked at me cautiously, keeping his distance. A tentative smile hovered about his mouth.
I beckoned to him with a finger. Slowly, he advanced towards me. I caught hold of both his hands, making him stand in front of me.
‘Look at me, please.’ I said when he turned his face away, flushing a little.
He pouted but obediently turned back to look at me. ‘Can I explain what happened pleeeeasssse?’ he begged.
‘Please do.’
He took a deep breath. ‘Well, uhm … well, I went over to the management office – like YOU told me to.’
‘Aha,’ I said encouragingly. ‘Go on.’
‘Well, there I was explaining to George’ he spat out that name like it was some kind of dirt, ‘about how I would be leaving my place empty and to redirect my mail and stuff here, and - they were just THERE!’
‘Who was?’ I asked patiently.
‘The maid service people. The supervisor I mean. She heard me talking to George, and asked if I wanted them to go in and do weekly cleaning and I thought that would be such a GREAT idea. We won’t have to maintain two places, and I was sure you would be pleased about that arrangement. So I signed them up!’ He said triumphantly.
‘And …?’ I prompted.
He blinked at me. ‘AND since they were supposed to clean, they DID!’ He sounded kind of surprised that I had not got it.
I kept my eyes on him till he flushed again and dropped his eyes.
‘And what did I tell you this morning, Keith?’
‘To get the apartment cleaned up!’ He said reasonably, with a tiny shrug.
‘Try again.’
He tried to jerk his hands away, but I held them tightly. ‘I am waiting, Keith.’
‘Oh! All right! You told ME to clean up the place. I know! I know! Are you happy now?’
He fussed at my hold on him, and squirmed as if my touch burnt him. I knew how much he hated to admit he was wrong. It was one of the hardest things for Keith, owning up to his mistakes. He thrived on praises and positive reinforcements, and I tried as much as possible to encourage good behavior with rewards. But this had been a deliberate act of disobedience and had to be addressed, much as I wanted to avoid it too. This was only our third day back together and the last thing I wanted was to punish him.
‘Frankly, I am not!’ I said shortly, my amusement drying up quickly. ‘And you are absolutely right. I told you to clean up the place yourself. I remember specifically saying NO about the maid service. Yet, you deliberately went behind my back and did exactly the opposite of what I said. Is that acceptable behavior, Keith?’
He hung his head, refusing eye contact and refusing to answer. I waited for a full twenty seconds, and then asked again, more sternly. ‘Is this behavior acceptable, young man?’
No,’ he finally whispered. He shook his head slightly, saying ‘It was stupid, I know it was. I didn’t mean to lie or disobey you. They were just there, you know?’ He sighed dejectedly. ‘And it seemed silly to clean up when they were about to do it – and professionally too!’
‘Is that the point, Keith?’ I asked.
‘No’ he admitted reluctantly. When he raised his eyes to mine again, I could see the misery in them. ‘W..what are you going to do, Dusty?’ he asked.
I drew him closer. He pulled back at once and wailed. ‘NO! Don’t Dusty. You don’t need to do this! Please!’
‘Calm down, Keith.’ I said firmly, still keeping his hands in mine. He was like a skittish colt, fresh and nervous and easily excitable.
‘Nooooo!’
‘Keith!’ I raised my voice slightly. ‘Listen to me please.’ I paused till I was sure I got his attention. ‘How do we deal with disobedience, hm?’
His lower lip jutted out, and I could see him making an effort to get the words out. ‘I get sp..spanked?’
‘Yes. You get spanked when you disobey me. And you know that. So - let’s get this done and over with, shall we?’
I quickly and firmly drew him over my lap, before he had time to think and panic. He went on squirming and I landed a sharp swat on his behind. ‘Settle down, Keith! Don’t drag this out. You don’t want to make me more cross with you.’
He drew a deep breath and settled down with a huff and a quick glance at me to let me know how displeased he was at the situation. I ignored his look. I hooked an arm around his waist, slid my fingers into his shorts – very business-like - and pulled them down so that only his butt was exposed. I had no intention to give him a serious spanking, just enough to drive home the reminder of where disobedience led him.
He tensed as I raised my hand, and a moment later, he gasped as the first swat landed on his right cheek.
‘Ow,’ he said loudly, jumping at the force of my hand. He twisted around to look at me again, with an indignant and surprised look in his eyes, as if he had forgotten what a spanking felt like. Then I saw him clamp his mouth down resolutely as the second swat landed, and even though he grunted a few more times, he endured the rest of the spanking in muted silence. I gave him no more than twenty smacks, but his butt was a healthy pink by the time I stopped. I carefully pulled his shorts back up. His breath hitched a few times.
‘All right babe, we’re done.’ I said, keeping my arm around his waist while I rubbed his back a little. ‘Now tell me - are you going to remember this lesson?’
‘Yes.’ He jerked his head once.
‘And are you going to disobey me again?’
‘No,’ he whispered.
I wish I could believe that, I thought ruefully. The worst of the pain would disappear within the next few minutes, but I hoped the memory would stay long enough to keep him out of trouble for a while. I hated having to physically punish Keith, but I could not deny the beneficial effects of delivering a sound spanking on Keith’s bottom every now and then to keep him in line.
His eyes were moist when I put him back on his feet. He sniffed a few times while I leaned up to plant a kiss on his forehead. I took his hand and led him to the huge armchair in the corner next to the window. I opened it a fraction, letting the cool air in, before sitting down on the cushions, pulling Keith on top of me. His arms quickly went round my neck and he buried his face in my shoulder.
‘I am sorry.’ He whispered.
‘I know, babe. It’s ok.’ I continued to rub his back till he stopped sniffling altogether. I reached out for the bottle of water which I had left on the little side table, and handed it to Keith.
‘Here – drink this.’
He gratefully accepted the bottle and drained half of it immediately. He looked at the unfinished half and offered it to me, flashing one of his sweet smiles at me.
‘No thanks, brat.’ I said, putting it aside.
Keith immediately snuggled up again. After every punishment, he showed a greater tendency to want to be held and petted and I responded to that need immediately. I hugged him tightly. Mild though his spanking had been, he looked miserable and would probably be miserable for the rest of the night.
The concept of discipline had always had such a driving influence on Keith that I had not been really surprised when he had agreed to a discipline relationship when I first broached the subject. However, after the first few times I had punished him, I began to understand Keith’s needs more fully. He feared the humiliation of discipline; he rebelled against it, yet craved the security of our arrangement, and of having someone take full responsibility for, and total control of, him. It was something he clung to despite himself, and somehow that stirred an echoing need deep within me as well.
I had taken responsibility for both my brothers at age sixteen, when we had lost both our parents in a horrible traffic accident. Shaun had been twelve, and the baby of the family, Brad, had only been ten. Although we had gone to stay with an aunt who looked after us till I was fully independent - and she treated us as if we were her own kids - the actual care of my brothers had fallen to my lot. I had had no choice but to take charge. I was their big brother, their role model, their confidante and unfortunately, also their disciplinarian.
After I met Keith, assuming the reigns of control had been as easy and natural for me as it had been for Keith to give up that control to me. And that made me love him all the more.
I felt Keith slowly nodding off on my shoulder. Scooping him up in my arms, I managed to lift him the few steps over to the bed and laid him down gently. He opened sleepy eyes at me, still slightly red.
‘Dusty, stay with me, please …’
‘Of course I will. Turn around, sweetheart.’ I turned off the lights, got into bed with him, and spooned him to me. He sighed contentedly.
‘Your spankings still hurt.’ Keith murmured softly in the dark.
‘You know what to do to avoid them, sweetie.’
Silence, then …
‘Dusty?’
‘Hm?’
‘I feel kinda safe … even though it hurts, you know?’
‘I know.’
I heard him sigh – a relaxed and comforting sound – as he pressed back against me.
‘I love you, Dusty,’ Keith whispered.
I leaned forward and kissed his neck. ‘I love you too, brat. Now go to sleep.’

* * *